My Rock
Helaman 5:12
"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."
This is one of my favorite scriptures in The Book of Mormon. And it was one of the first scriptures that I memorized with Rod when we were first married. It has helped me stay focused and not get lost in my depression and anxiety, which is so much better now, but affects me still every now and again. With depression it is hard to feel anything except alone and worthless and unable to do anything good in your life. I don't understand it and probably never will but I know on whom I trust and where I stand. I love my God and I love my life. And the better I understand my relationship to Christ, I can more easily feel the love he has for me:)
Comfort in Christ
Tonight I read:
Alma 31:31
O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people.
For so many years I struggled to know what it meant to have a relationship with Christ and suffered so much because I didn't know how to accept that his suffering was for me. I kept missing the mark and thinking there was more to it than just accepting him. But there isn't. I always believed in him, and knew that he is the Son of God and such and that he did what he did for all of us so that we could return to live with God again. But somehow that didn't translate to my heart and soul. It's crazy, right? What was I missing?
Well, I know God has been patient with me and has taught me every day of my life what it means to have a relationship with His Son. And I am grateful for that testimony. In my times of trial he has shown me that he is my closest friend. I used to feel so alone and abandoned by everyone in my life, now I just feel his love even more when I am by myself. He truly does comfort me. I know of no greater peace.
John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Extended Arms of Mercy
It was one of those days... One of those days that happen a lot to a young mother of young kids, all of which are boys and under the age of five. It just happens that every night, while I should be in bed getting the 8 hours of sleep I need, I stay up, cleaning, writing and getting everything done that I can't get done during the day. I always think I am doing myself a favor but in the morning when the kids wake up and I roll out of bed, the grumpies take over and I am less than placid with the kids. I yell, when I should and usually have more patience. I cry when it really is just spilt milk. And being the over analytical and dramatic person that I am, I get really down right hard on myself and almost forget, if it weren't for the scriptures, that there is no reason for me to do that to myself and the Christ has already paid for those weaknesses and imperfections... that I just need to keep doing my best and learn from when I don't.
The one hanging in my stairwell it just of Christ and was painted by my cousin Juan Carlos. When I have a chance I will take a picture of it and replace this one.
There is a painting hanging in my stairwell of the Savior coming down from heaven with arms stretched out. I love this painting because it always gives me a reason to forget my problems of the day and just be happy that I am live. And over these past few days, when I have been less than patient with the kids, the thought comes to me as I pass it, "Love your kids with out stretched arms like I love them." It really softens my heart and I am able to see the kids with more loving eyes... even after they have demolished the game pieces that I just spent 30 minutes putting back together. But today, maybe because I was getting more down on myself than usual, it seemed to beckon me even more. And so, as I sat down to read my scriptures, a thought came to me that what I would read today would be exactly what I needed to hear. And it was.
Mosiah 16:9, 12-13
9 He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.
12 Having gone according to their own carnal wills and desires; having never called upon the Lord while the arms of mercy were extended towards them; for the arms of mercy were extended towards them, and they would not; they being warned of their iniquities and yet they would not depart from them; and they were commanded to repent and yet they would not repent.
13 And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved?
Can you believe it? "the arms of mercy were extended towards them..." How much more perfectly could this scripture have been? Isn't it such a testimony that if we seek the Lord he will answer us? Those outstretched arms can say so much. In this scripture it is calling on some to repent...maybe me for forgetting to call on the Lord before I lose my temper;) I know it's not funny, I just don't want to publicly admit my faults;) In another scripture his arms are extended when He says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) And for me at that moment the thought came to my mind, "Wendy, I accept and love you with outstretched arms no matter how imperfect you are." How perfectly the Lord did comfort my heart. I joke with my husband sometimes, saying, "I wonder if Heavenly Father knew...?" I will never look at that painting in the same light again and I will forever know that that scripture was meant for me today. It was a few versus down from the one that I looked up to study and I was meant to find it.
His light is truly is endless and I was beaming from it all day, after I let the Lord take away my shame. I need to be quicker about it though. Who likes being in the shade? I'd rather run in the light:)
Can you believe it? "the arms of mercy were extended towards them..." How much more perfectly could this scripture have been? Isn't it such a testimony that if we seek the Lord he will answer us? Those outstretched arms can say so much. In this scripture it is calling on some to repent...maybe me for forgetting to call on the Lord before I lose my temper;) I know it's not funny, I just don't want to publicly admit my faults;) In another scripture his arms are extended when He says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) And for me at that moment the thought came to my mind, "Wendy, I accept and love you with outstretched arms no matter how imperfect you are." How perfectly the Lord did comfort my heart. I joke with my husband sometimes, saying, "I wonder if Heavenly Father knew...?" I will never look at that painting in the same light again and I will forever know that that scripture was meant for me today. It was a few versus down from the one that I looked up to study and I was meant to find it.
His light is truly is endless and I was beaming from it all day, after I let the Lord take away my shame. I need to be quicker about it though. Who likes being in the shade? I'd rather run in the light:)
He Shall Suffer...
Mosiah 3:7-8
7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.
8 And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and his mother shall be called Mary
I know who He is... now who am I? Who am I that he would suffer this for me?
I am so thankful to be alive. To live such a beautiful life. To have such a beautiful family. To know such a perfect God. To know that He loved me enough to die for me and that He lives again.
I just pray that when things are rough that I won't forget this, not even for a moment. It is too easy to get caught up in the misery and dwell on the negative. But I have found that it is harder to come out of it, than to stay out of it. Such a blessing it is to just let him take it all away and make me whole and give me a fresh start each day. What a blessing it truly is:)
Glory in Plainness
Jacob 4:14
14 But behold, the Jews were a stiffnecked people; and they despised the words of plainness, and killed the prophets, and sought for things that they could not understand. Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it. And because they desired it God hath done it, that they may stumble.
I am sure that I do this too and maybe it's the cause of so many of my struggles.
It reminds me of the other day when I was sick and wasn't able to wear my contacts. I have terrible vision and had to use my glasses. I was so grateful to have them. But when I put them on I was reminded how terrible they are. I can't drive in them. I can barely even see across the room in them. In fact, when I have them on, I can only see clearly two feet in front of me. Without them on I can't even see my hand in focus without pressing it to my nose.
Well, after wearing my glasses for a day I put my contacts back in. But I not only had the worst headache, I couldn't see as well anymore with my contacts. I guess the stress on my eyes due to looking beyond "the mark", or where I could actually focus with my glasses, had made me in a way blind.
Maybe it's a silly analogy and maybe there is more to it than this analogy can portray, but having to try and focus only on things closest to me for a whole day helped me to see what was really most important... and even if my kids were as far away from me as their height, I could still see them in focus. And when closing my eyes brought relief from the stress on my eyes, I was always drawn to prayer. And because of prayer and because of the spirit I feel when I pray and read His word, I know that even if I were blind, if my Savior were standing in front of me, I would know it was Him. Seeing him did the Jews no good, because they kept looking beyond him. He was there and they couldn't see him, the wouldn't hear him and couldn't feel his love for them.
Matt 7:7
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
The way is plain for sure.
2 Nephi 33:6
"I glory in plainness;
I glory in truth;
I glory in my Jesus,
For he hath redeemed my soul from hell."
Laboring for My Children
Jacob 1:4-8
4 And if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the heads of them upon these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for Christ’s sake, and for the sake of our people.
5 For because of faith and great anxiety, it truly had been made manifest unto us concerning our people, what things should happen unto them.
6 And we also had many revelations, and the spirit of much prophecy; wherefore, we knew of Christ and his kingdom, which should come.
7 Wherefore we labored diligently among our people, that we might persuade them to come unto Christ, and partake of the goodness of God, that they might enter into his rest, lest by any means he should swear in his wrath they should not enter in, as in the provocation in the days of temptation while the children of Israel were in the wilderness.
8 Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all men not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all men would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the world; wherefore, I, Jacob, take it upon me to fulfill the commandment of my brother Nephi.
I think to believe in Christ, view his death and suffer his cross and the bear the shame of the world isn't possible unless you are diligently laboring to persuade others to partake of the goodness of God. As a mother of small boys I don't get out much and therefore, don't have the opportunity to share with others the beautiful truths of the this wondrous gospel. But what I fail to remember most of the time is that there is no greater missionary work that we can do, than with our own children. And the time will come, when my children are older and we are out of the house more, that God will use us for another purpose. I know of no great cross, thus far in my life, than self-lessly serving my three little toddlers. There is nothing more humbling and trying and yet, nothing more fulfilling and beautiful either. I may not be able to rest and take a break for the next 20 or so years of my life, but I sure am glad I have a friend to lean on:)
It Speaketh of Jesus
2 Nephi 33:3-4
3 But I, Nephi, have written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially unto my people. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry.
4 And I know that the Lord God will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people. And the words which I have written in weakness will be made strong unto them; for it persuadeth them to do good; it maketh known unto them of their fathers; and it speaketh of Jesus, and persuadeth them to believe in him, and to endure to the end, which is life eternal.
I am not the most well-versed person in the world, although I love writing. And although I don't always write about the things I believe, I know that the things I believe influence the things that I write. I love this blog for the reason that here I have a place to put my thoughts, however simple as they might be, on what I believe and have come to understand. Lately, I have been studying from the index of The Book of Mormon, the different references that it lists under Jesus Christ. It has been wonderfully edifying to study it in such a way. I have never felt more strengthened than I do now. I feel a power in my life and in my soul that I can't deny. Being a writer, I constantly am drawing on the quotes and thoughts of other writers. What a beautiful painting may do for an aspiring artist, a writer's words does for me. And so, reading short versus and studying them out in my mind each day has been a real treat for me. I just play it over and over in my head like a good song and life is bliss. The Book of Mormon truly does testify of the Savior. And I love it.
The Power of the Holy Ghost
2 Nephi 32:3-5
3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.
4 Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.
5 For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.
There have been so many times in my life where I have prayed for something and not received an answer right away, but knew that my Heavenly Father was watching over me and had an answer waiting for me to find. And almost always, I have found that answer in the scriptures. It is such a beautiful thing that God is limitless in his words and that although the scriptures were written so long ago, they contain the answer that we individually seek. And even when the words themselves don't answer our most heartfelt prayers, the Holy Ghost/ The Spirit, does. It is such a wonderful feeling.
We Talk of Christ... That Our Children Might Believe
In The Church we are counseled to read and study the scriptures every day. I have always really tried, but it takes time, and time is what I don't have, let alone, half a brain at the end of the day, which is when I find the, "time" to do it. Lately, I have been rushing through my studies and surprise, surprise, I have been feeling a bit down. You'd think that I would have figured it out by now, that whenever I put my whole heart and soul into reading my scriptures that it really brings so much peace into my life. Now if I could just keep moving forward and not take a few steps back every once in a while, I'd be in great shape... exercising would do that for me too... So, here's to exercise for the soul:
2 Nephi 25:23-29
"23 For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.
24 And, notwithstanding we believe in Christ, we keep the law of Moses, and look forward with steadfastness unto Christ, until the law shall be fulfilled.
25 For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law because of the commandments.
26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
27 Wherefore, we speak concerning the law that our children may know the deadness of the law; and they, by knowing the deadness of the law, may look forward unto that life which is in Christ, and know for what end the law was given. And after the law is fulfilled in Christ, that they need not harden their hearts against him when the law ought to be done away.
28 And now behold, my people, ye are a stiffnecked people; wherefore, I have spoken plainly unto you, that ye cannot misunderstand. And the words which I have spoken shall stand as a testimony against you; for they are sufficient to teach any man the right way; for the right way is to believe in Christ and deny him not; for by denying him ye also deny the prophets and the law.
29 And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul; and if ye do this ye shall in nowise be cast out.
It seems to me that whenever I am down and dwelling on that which is negative and not looking forward with faith in Christ that I truly am denying him. Not denying that he is, but denying his love and power over me. Whenever I am weak and feeling down I just tell myself, "Don't deny him." And I feel instantly better. If my children can feel the love and see the joy in my life because of my faith in the Savior then they too will be able to enjoy it in their lives. It is the greatest gift I can give them. And that is true happiness.